Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Some Words of Wisdom from the Late Douglas Adams

After the Giants' 5-3 loss to the Padres last night, the team has fallen to 8-11 and has been fashioning a particularly unwatchable brand of baseball, combining bad pitching, bad fielding, and an inability to get key hits with runners in scoring position.

As always happens following a slow start, you're going to see a lot of whining and armchair GMing from message board denizens and other assorted idiots. You're going to hear the typical knee-jerk frothing at the mouth from mindless radio hosts and their equally cranially-challenged callers, screaming about how it's time to give up on the season, Sabean's an idiot, blah blah blah. Yeah, there's no denying that being a Giants fan sucks right now, but let's not drop the toasters in the bathtub just yet.

All we need to do is repeat to ourselves the immortal words uttered in Douglas Adams' great book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, now being made into a motion picture, which looks awful beyond words. The phrase to remember: Don't Panic.

We still have the world's best player waiting to come back (who knows when, but if Giants fans are religious folks, they'd better start praying for the near future). The Giants now are a decent 6th in the NL in runs scored, and this despite the presence of Mike Matheny's "bat". When you insert Bonds and his unholy .600 OBP into the lineup, suddenly this looks like one of the best batting orders in the league.

Also, let's lend a little perspective to this whole thing. Championships are not won in April. Nothing in April really matters a whole hell of a lot. If you want proof just click here and check out who is posting this .396/.418/.604 line. Also, the Yanks are in last and the White Sox have the majors' best record, for crying out loud!

The Giants started last year off horrible as well, slumping to an abysmal 17-24 before righting the ship in late May. The team ended up winning 91 games. Did their early season follies cost them the division? Well, yes, but they also had several calamities in the final week of the season to blame (cough Steve Finley cough) and just the fact that they were in position to threaten for a postseason berth at the end stresses that slow starts shouldn't automatically trigger a mass exodus to the fallout shelter. The 2000 Giants got off to a horrible start also, and hovered around .500 until the All-Star Break until Marvin Benard's shining moment as a Giant triggered a scorching hot streak that the Giants rode to 97 wins.

It's easy to get fed up and complain about the Giants and their roster of old farts after less than a month, but let's reserve the brainless ranting until Bonds comes back and the season has taken off for good. If it gets to the All-Star Break, and Bonds is back, and the Giants are still mired in a fight-to-the-death with the Rockies for last place, then by all means, let the conjecture fly. Heck, I'll probably be joining in the yelling.

But until then, let's make like Ford Prefect and just stay calm.

ahahahhaha! i can't believe you pulled a marvin bernard card. that's awesome. and slightly desperate.
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