Thursday, December 22, 2005


A Giant-Killer Among Us

Steve Finley, the Giants' long-time arch-nemesis, the man who placed #4 on my Stankeye Most Hated List and who turned Wayne Franklin into the Bill to my Beatrix Kiddo, is now in Orange and Black. This isn't destined to end well. Finley has tortured the Giants for years and years, so should we really expect him to just suddenly turn around and help his favorite whipping boy? I think not. All those hoping that the .222/.271/.374 he puked up last season was an injury-related fluke should temper their expectations. Given Finley's history of cornholing the Giants at every opportunity, the guy's more likely to put up a .151/.210/.333 line and break both of Bonds' kneecaps while pledging allegiance to Satan than he is to actually contribute to a winning cause in San Francisco. Finley's lifetime OPS against the Giants is .851. What did the Giants do to deserve this?

On the bright side, the portly, worthless Edgardo Alfonso is now a memory. I guess I'd rather pay $7 million to a 4th outfielder who was good just two years ago than give that same amount to a Punch-and-Judy third sacker whose last good season was six years ago. I would have liked to see the Giants' other useless waste of a 3B, Pedro Feliz, get traded for something good, but this will do for now. Finley gives the Giants' pseudo-Methuselahan outfield some injury insurance and provides at least some value, which is more than can be said for poor Alfie. Finley also gives the Giants another 40-year-old. Joy.

There might be some hope for a rebound in 2006, but trying to find a silver lining in Steve Finley's splits last year is like trying to find human decency in Dick Cheney...there is none. The guy was crap in a little plastic bag. He sucked ass at home, he sucked ass on the road, he sucked at night, during the day, before the Break, after the Break. Finley sucked ass in the rain, Finley sucked ass in a train, Finley sucked ass in a box, Finley sucked ass with a fox. I guess he kinda hit lefties well, but we're reaching here.

I guess it pretty much sums up the Giants' tawdry offseason that the second biggest move the team has made has been to swap a couple of crappy veteran contracts. While we're sitting here debating the merits of Finley and Mark Sweeney, the Dodgers are signing Rafael Furcal and Nomar Garciaparra. Does anybody else see anything wrong with this?


Speaking of the Dodgers (and of traitors, as my post yesterday discussed), Brett Tomko is about to sign a two-year deal with the Bums for about $8.7 million. I don't know what's more amusing, that the Dodgers actually believe that Tomko can help them, or that they're paying about $4.5 million a year so he can whine his way through another year of mediocrity and man-love paintings of his catcher. Either way, they're welcome to him. You think Ned Coletti would have learned his Tomko lesson from last year, but I guess not.

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