Sunday, February 12, 2006


The Horror! The Horror!

Here's a nice little piece of WTF! that will give all you Giants fans nightmares going into spring training. A poster at McCovey Chronicles apparently overheard Felipe Alou say on KNBR that if Lance Neikro fails as a regular, Pedro Feliz would shift to first base and Jose Vizcaino would be the regular third baseman. Apparently Felipe sees Mark Sweeney, whose bat is like quantum leaps better than Vizcaino's, as just a strong bat off the bench.

Now, the Giants' keystone situation is enough of a disaster already. My deteriorating psyche just doesn't need this. I'm already waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, shouting the word "Sweeneikro" as I clutch my Teddy Bear. The last thing I can handle now are Jose Vizcaino and Pedro Feliz and his front-foot flailing act invading my dreams. Seriously, has Alou gone insane? Is it time to send him to a mental hospital so he can go all Randle P. McMurphy on some mute Indian with a broom? Vizcaino would be the worst third baseman in the majors, hands down. Heck, I'd have trouble naming a worse regular third baseman over the last ten years.

I'm thinking maybe the guy on McCovey Chronicles simply misheard Alou (please?), or maybe Alou was just sleepy and was talking out his ass so he could hurry up and get his nap. If he was serious, though, Giants management has just plumbed new depths of insanity in what's already been a goofy offseason.

-In a non-baseball-related story, apparently Dick Cheney enjoys playing The Most Dangerous Game during the weekend. This is one of the most hilarious things I've read in a while. It couldn't have happened to a better, I mean, bigger asshole.

Considering Felipe's incredible accent, we'll just have to pray that this is an incident of the misheard type.
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