Tuesday, April 07, 2009


Opening Day Post 2009

I attempted to do something different for my Opening Day post this year, something that goes beyond the usual hastily-cobbled together lineup dissection that usually fills these pages this time of year. Instead, I set up an interview with none other than Giants owner Bill Neukom, who was kind enough to sit down and discuss the upcoming season. Here's how it went:

Paulie: Hi, Duke, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.

Bill Neukom: Um, sure. Wait...Duke? Who are you, again? How'd you get in my office?

P: Er, I'm Paul, the guy who writes the highly-touted Giants blog "Give 'em Some Stankeye!" I'm sure your front office people have consulted me for advice at one point or another. Anyway...

BN: Oh wait, you mean that crappy web site that consists mostly of bad jokes involving Schwarzenegger movies from the '80's?

P: Yeah, that's the one! So, Duke, remember that time you told that big alien guy that you'd rip off his head and sh...

BN: Agh, I'm so sick of that joke! I hate that fucking game! Get a life, you asshole! Get out of here! Who gave you a press pass? Security!

P: GET TO THE CHOPPER! (drops notes and runs out)

So my attempt at Opening Day Interview 2009 didn't go too well. Unfortunately, Opening Day 2009 doesn't seem to be going that great either, as a tarp is over the field at the Mays with no sign of letup. I actually will have access to a radio now, so that'd suck if we have to wait yet another day for Giants baseball.

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