Monday, April 19, 2010


Hell Comes to Munchkinland

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Petco Park! The faster the Giants get out of this hellhole, the better. Even with the Padres up only 2-1 late, it seemed more like a 10-run lead. Even though Clayton Richard came into the game with a career 4.77 ERA, we knew he'd pitch like Sandy Koufax. Even when Juan Uribe momentarily brightened our spirits with a game-tying home run, it seemed he was just delaying the inevitable. Sure enough, the Giants ended up getting beaten on a foul pole bomb by a refugee from the local Everquest convention.

The Good: Matt Cain overcame some early shakiness to pitch six strong innings. My opinion on Juan Uribe has done a complete 180 in the past year, going from baffled hatred to borderline man-crush territory. Please don't let the dream die, Juan.

The Bad: Jeremy Affeldt doesn't look sharp at all. Eugenio Velez is...stop me if you've heard this before...still awful. Eckstein, Eckstein, Eckstein.

Also, if anyone still wants to claim that replay on home runs is a bad thing, I direct you to Clayton Richard's long double in tonight's game. It was a long drive that clearly short-hopped the wall, but was initially, and inexplicably, called a home run. It was a home run only in the sense that Avatar was a deep, original story. The call was immediately overturned, but it came perilously close to being the worst blown call in the history of blown calls.

Let's see...two emotionally draining losses in a row? And two more at Petco Park? Excuse me while I go cry into my pillow.

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